as usual today was nothing merely a monday blue
i am really (excited) looking forward to wednesday
seriously. i felt that studying in school, though
it pushes me more to revise and worksheet-ing
all day, i felt it was more of a torture

i never wanted to think that way as a school life
but somehow, sunday always made monday worst
and always that the worst happens on monday.
just like today.

when monday blue strikes, people felt tired,
exhausted, EMO-ed
therefore they tend to think more differently
and act things in a different way.
when things happens that way, they began to
think of all sorts of funny things
and emo all the way.

just trying to quote and emphasize how
interesting human beings are.
the fact that monday are always treated like this
it will always be. (the great doings of the brain)

talking about it, i really felt more relax
when my table partner kept me crazy the whole day
even when her jokes aren't funny at all
her tone (which is serious) makes it funny
lelolelogram = parallelogram
bananagram = one sided figure
munerugram = two sided figure
trilelogram = three sided figure
tritangle!! = rectangle O_O.
and she argued that why cant it be name this way
true though, there is no right or wrong answer
every name just came this way when people name it.

during physics lesson, maybe it was due to the
recess before it, i was feeling rather tired
more like, too lazy to do anything
while my table partner decided to be rebellion
during physics lesson, and not do anything
except fooling around with alastair,
i felt unwilling to touch anything on TYS
therefore opened my notebook to pen some notes

english lesson was rather boring, since all the fun was
taken away on last thursday
after that, maths again. however so, maybe im more mathy
in nature, i seemed happier and more motivated
to advance in maths

later on, it was time that school end
i left the school and went back home alone.
when i was at the busstop waited for 20 mins
for a hopeful 163 to come, it just pass by us and moved
to the next bus stop
it might be the fault that the lrt and the turn was
blocking the bus driver's view,
but aren't they suppose to also look out for students
that might be boarding the bus
hopefully to return home and have their lunch?

i was so agitated after that, waited 10 mins more
and instead, i took a cab home.
the taxi driver was kind enough to send me home(maybe not kind)
i see the sec2 students was angrily staring at me
thinking that i snatched their taxi,
or just that the driver was being bias to me
its just a curse that that sec 2 student happens to know me
somehow, when last time i always see her in the arcade,
busy laughing at ppl how clumsy they were
instead she wasn't any good of herself.
after then, i knew from the taxi driver that
the sec 2 are trying to squeeze in 5 at a time.

(while they're trying to show how ''adult'' or mature they are,
and eager to let ppl recognize them as older,
they complain that they're still kids when they
needed the taxi. yeah..
limit: 4adults, or 6 childrens in a taxi.)

just when i reached home, the sky shows no mercy
it began to rain so heavily
and guess what, my mother said she would buy lunch back
and instead, she returned at 4
so basically, i took lunch at 4, dinner at 10 =.=

i fell asleep at 6 and woke up at 9
so i figured that, i just take a rest today.
no point trying to chiong all the way
and get sick again during O level
after dinner, my mother went to warm the essence oil thingy

and I HATE THE SMELL
it was said to help one breathe better
but to me, with my cleared nasal,
i felt that it smelled more like rotten meat
(its just the idea of rotten meat)
signs of me showing nauseaneous,
began to overwhelm. but my mother
insisted that i was overreacting

yeah overreacting eh? the whole house now smell
like a dead corpse room.
curses that she bought the essence oil when i was having
a block nose. i should have stopped her from buying
and getting cheated AGAIN by the sales people.
i went everywhere carrying my small bolster
and a blanket to cover my nose.
and the lack of oxygen seemed to cause
a pain at the chin-neck area
zzzzzzzz...

now i've shut myself up in the room,
switched on the aircon and letting
air liberate in my room.
(though it still smells.)

-------------------------------------------------------
the best way to cheer oneself up is to cheer someone else up
emo-ing is always a stupid thing to do yet everyone does it
i admit the fact that i does that as to my nature
but isn't smiling a better way to live a life
than emo-ing and grunting about the nitty gritty problems?
when one aren't able to smile, for me
the best thing to do is to cheer people up
you'll see how people react to things their way
and you can then reflect what you're thinking
and its just that im glad that
i have someone to share the cheering session :)

5 days since i've ever touched the blog, of course,
i've lots to write about.
things are being realized these few days.
i wanted to pen it all down, but it just seem that
i have troubles to do so.

its always like that, thought of what i could write
then when i log in to the blogger page,
i lost all my flow to write. in the end, its just another
clearing of posts.

its a relief that im getting well these days
i personally noe that im lacked behind time,
but as usual, not until the last minute,
i just dun have the urgency to do so...
even though im near to catching up with the pace.
its just that, my peers already ran passed me.

i felt that the blood thats running inside me
its cold...
somehow or rather, i felt that i need
more space than i thought i needed usually
today was just like another normal sunday for me

tuition in the morning, after that i rested at home.
splitting headaches are all the illness that hadn't recovered
after that, i headed to compass while hetching a ride from my
father's car, to buy some ''motivation'' to study
from lecture pads to candies.
i bought several things that cost me almost
my whole wallet. when i reached home,
i found out that 1 week savings are gone

due to the days i hadn't went school,
of cuz~! NO POCKET MONEY.
apart from losing lessons, i lost my savings.
thats the consequences you pay for not taking care of yourself
back to the topic, i came back home feeling hot and exhauted

ate lunch that i bought from compass,
and went into my fav. hangout~
the HIGHSTREET... 5!
rather i felt pretty pleasant there.
though i felt i was pretty near the ''otaku'' nature
but for me, playing these games really was a breather

after that, it was just a sudden idea that hit me
: a jog around the neighbourhood
doctor had advised me to exercise more..
well. i began to stop intense exercise ever since
the day i joined robotics.
one of the regrets that i had in pei hwa is that
they dun have the CCA i wanted.
i really was stiff as a robot.

despite all lousy stamina and so,
i sprinted one whole round from block 230
to 229 and all the way opposite sengkang primary that area
to where normally i walked from compass back home.
a long distance, but i never thought i sprinted the whole journey
i stopped by 237 to the 7-11.
as tired as a bull, i slogged in and stuffed my face into the
''fridge'' trying to grab a bottle of 600ml ice mountain
then i grab another bowl of instant noodle
and went to the nearby fitness corner to rest

music did all the job for me
it somehow paced me up, and singing along with it
somehow makes me forget my troubles.
lately there's this song that im afraid to listen to
it made me cry... so much
but nvm about that, lets get back once again

after the whole thing, i stretched my stiffs arms and legs
at the fitness corner. not realizing, i was actually lying with a pile of ants
OMG...
i get up, and poured nearly half bottle of the water
on to my hair, to my toes.
luckily there wasnt passerbys
i felt really creep-ed
so i jogged back to 230's fitness corner

there was much pleasant. i did some
monkey bar-ing, inclined pull ups
and sat as the chair nearby
just an idea that struck me, i sang.
watching clouds that drifted passed the sky im looking
the sky slowly darkens.
a sign of : HOME

i reached home approximately 7.30
messed around with my stuff
studied and went to make my instant dinner
seriously, isn't myojo saving too much on garnishing?
i went back to HS to play a little while
and we saw the creator of VELVET today


lingered around and bullying
today was unexpectedly quite exciting
many ppl online-d. and took pictures
while they were busy talking
i was busy editing pictures
sometimes, editing pictures are kinda fun...
and after that i went to take a cold shower
not trying to kill myself...
but its just to freshen myself before bedtime

and here im now blogging.
some crap i felt like saying:
---------------------------------------------

sometimes its just ought to be wondered
why do ppl realised what they should have treasured
when they lose it.
if only they hadn't taken it for granted
none of the disappointment and
devastating sadness would creep to them
but let's just say things always goes this way in life
its the matter whether you'll noticed it or not
before you lose it.
its always a tough process though,
but its always what you need in life.
---------------------------------------------
im pretending, and thats all i can do...
you got it down, and you're well on your way to the top..
but there's something that you forgot...
.
.
.
.
you might need it someday...

(thats all folks! im crapping today :D)

pictures for sharing...
the slippers my brother bought
given to me, from his batam trip -.-
(damn giam siap~! S$1.50 HOR)


a view... hanging from a bar.. lols(im crazy)


-ZL time- just felt like hugging lemon :D

as i said earlier, i have decided to make another blog post.
as i thought, i would not do any good if i were to escape from the reality.
seriously, tomorrow is always going to befall. i guess its another test for me tomorrow.

i already foresee that questions and trials will be made tomorrow.
hopefully, i'll still be safe after school from the reality i will be facing.
i apologise for all neglection i made. and sincerely appreciate all the care and concern
calls and texts from the teachers.
but really. i needed time to adjust myself today.
as i always said, running away and disappearing is my way of calming myself
i dislike showing and pouring all my feelings in front of one. face to face.
rather, i prefer showing it through texts, since it'll be much easier for me.

for now, i'll just continue to calm myself further. to give up something that i treasure.
for approximately 8 years i think, that i never thought i will suspect
its really hard for me. it might be just me, being all stubborn and stuff
it might even just be for the moment, to break the ties.

before that of what i was posting.
i feel it might be just utter nonsense.
i really want to show my feelings. but something tells me that
things are better to be kept untold.
i may seem troubled. but i feel, im lesser troubled than i was.
the whole day, i just buried myself in my all favourite place
: the bed, the computer, the books.

running away seemed to be a wrong choice of the day
many distraction was to keep me from adjusting well
plans for the day was spoiled due to many reasons.
but luckily, i've met what i aimed.
(even the timing for the meals all delayed and bring forward for 3-4 hours)
(no wonder im still covered by skin...)

after all, by seeking to my hobbies.
as easy as simply watching japanese animation
i was able to focus. and give my heart in to feel the story.
having people to be constantly worry about me
and yet im that relaxed about it.
im really in guilt and sorry.
its just that, i need my breathing space.

im tied down for many times.
i figured what might be best for me.
yet the ''me'' long ago, seek for the best to others.
i shared, i played.
but never were to think for myself.
in the end, future was neglected for me.
so now. maybe i can juggle between the two better
or just focus on one. either way is gonna work somehow.
whatever it is. just see for yourself.

well, my medicine is acting again.
lethargic feeling, the dizziness and the nausea
i just hate this. i will sail through this period of time
and stop trembling once and for all.
this all seemed like an oath to me.
its a promise to myself. an ''ouendan'' in my mind.

i've chattered and nagged enough on my post
so much as that it is overwheming.
i'll stop for now, and continue my journey tomorrow.
see ya~!

i wanted to end all this. but i feel that i might hurt that person even more.
even though i dint want to, i continue. i hope i've cleared everything.
a suitable one may be found. but its still impossible to me.
i'll just follow the flow. one day. i will find the one.
the chosen one. and everything will just be that natural
the question is: will i ever reach that one day?

claps for wishix~
i like their blogskin so much xD

been sometime ever since i blog things.
well. yesterday was heart wrenching to think about it
i've never felt so lost in years.
for once i thought i had learnt my lesson from past experiences
but i guess, this aren't easy for me.

despite of being really sick for these few days
i cried a few times yesterday(i know its silly)
and to sleep this morning at 1 plus.
couldnt get sleep earlier cuz i had to settle some things in HS.

im really afraid that one day
i might lose my smile.
i beginning to groan about things happening around me
maybe thats what i let everyone feel about
that i am leading a good life or what so ever.
everyone has their own definitions what so sad about something
what so happy about something...
so whats the point of comparing every stuff in life?
life is never fair, if it was, everyone is perfect.
and perfect means that you cant even think for yourself anymore

i felt inspired for once to pour out everything on blog
but somehow, when i started typing
everything just seem to hold back.
i dunno what to say anymore.
i dun care who might be reading my blog later on
i hope no one would ask me what happen yesterday
i also hope no one would bring up anything about ART

im trying to break through the difficult,sad
and hard period for me now
and i sincerely apologise if no one would even
recognise me after today.
im changing for the better.
a note: if you think that i am still the same to you
that might just means that you still holds a special
part in my life im leading now.

as someone told me, crisis peels off the masks.
im seeing ppl changing more than i do now.
i see true colours, and at this moment of time
many things are put into a test.
when everything finishes, you'll noe wad i meant.

soo.. just treat this as another siao symptoms acting
hahas. maybe i'll blog more later on...

today as usual, nothing to do
woke up exceptionally early, cuz i couldn get to sleep last night
was irritated by noises made by the nature. lols
and also, don't dare to dream only.

nightmares are getting scarier by the day
all sorts of them. haix =.=
tonight must sleep soundly
panadol may help :S...

ytd night, someone sms me something
surprised me so much
hmmm. kinda hard to reply to that person's msg
after some replies, that person still persist going further
unable to divert topic, i just ignored.

is this an example of running from reality?
well. its kinda scary really.
wanted to tell someone about it.
but i dunno who i can confide.
if i can say, i'll use harassment as the word. hahas. :S

i don't know how to tell anyone about it.
i just felt really uncomfortable with it.
why is it always me?
can't they just find other victims?

wo bu ru di yu, shui ru di yu?
suan le. curse my life...


its you i want to depend on,
but in the end, i said.
maybe i should give up.

i dunno why lately i easily get vexed when ppl says thw wrong thing
do the wrong thing
nowadays im really insane! hahas.
want to zi high oso nothing let me high

dreams that are bothering me
had made me realised the distance
the impossible
maybe i should just give up on hope

just normal boring days i have lately
watching anime, searching for random stuff at youtube
doodle, and start work on art abit
really lazy though, but just force myself to.

things i've been thinking today:
(if you can understand, you'll understand my mood now -.-)


so i'll smile i guess...


yeah guess what? im hurt. hmmm...


well... maybe...


sure do, there's one now im thinking and i realised i've been smiling.


so i'll smile


cheese...

Hello (:, you are currently viewing leM0n's little space.
her real name is amanda ting
and lives miraculously on 14 march 1992
she believes in horoscope and is an emotional pisces
she can dream anytime anyday
and loves the magic act of disappearing
her inner swings picks up wind anytime and changes her mood
she would like to go japan,korea & paris someday(:
lastly, she needs love from people (:

LOVES :
♥leM0n!
♥ receiving things that comes with sincerity
♥ the night
♥ the bed
♥ running away from reality
HATES :
x dolls that looks like human, when they're not
x clowns
hates a big word for me, normally i only dislike things.:X

Music playing: Kana Nishino - Motto / Tokutemo

Music Playlist at MixPod.com

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