.Tuesday, June 15, 2010 ' 10:49 PM Y
Don't wake me up, unless its in reality ♥
Im not strong, im not happy go lucky as you see.
I feel that i shouldn't think so much sometimes, but i cant help to.
god knows how many post i have written and hid it as drafts.
its its. all about things im unhappy about.
life, is like that. you aren't satisfied by it.
I wonder what im turning to.
is changing a new me that unsatisfying to people?
i mean, i know that i live for myself, i be who i am.
but i dun even know who i am now.
why is everyone having issues with my attitude?
im just trying, to protect myself.
cant i?
i always said, and felt that. i can't live long
its just a very bad feeling i have.
you know how some people, they are able to see their future.
my future? is a room of darkness, just like how you see when you close your eyes.
i dunno, i really dunno.
so cant i just go for some life-changing stuff once in a while to do crazy things?
i know how much i have missed out for the past 16 years. i know.
you know sometimes, when i walk on the streets.i think about how you might have walked on it, with whoever i duno.how about the thousands and millions faces i have seen?did i ever take a glance of you before?i hate it how, people get closer to you, when i know you longest.i should have known about you more,i hate losing, i really hate losing.and how she said you're flirting with me?its been like this for 3 years. whats fucking wrong with her?so she thinks she like freaking close to you? come on, shut up. i dun deserve to be said like this.i dun give you fucking attitude for you to be spraying acid on me.and do you know how hard it is, to actually be waiting for you?i dunno about you just like how you were trying to wait for meim sorry, i knew you were lonely, but did you know i was lonely as well?do you know how i feel, when those people come over and confront me?do you know all the bad things they said about me?do you.. understand the pain i had to gone through...?do i not deserve to be loved, and love as well?you know? i really like you. it hadnt changed for 3 years.if it did, i would have felt nothing after we separated.why do i feel worst than the first time? you understand right? and where are you now?who are you hinting again?what are you trying to do?cant you tell me? cant?i guess, i dun deserve to know.im not someone you can trust. right. i leave no space in your heart.even if one day, i go missing, i diei won't be missed. i won't. probably not you.you'll just get over with it so fast.and get another of your love, or someone to share with.a lvoe that i can never have. the voice of yours i'll never hear.and the care and love under you, honestly, i envy those girls who dated with you.i feel i can do better than themi can give you the care you wanted.im not materialistic. because i do give in my all.neh. what about you? have you ever thought of that?have you ever tried being confident and says, i'll give you happinesswould you do that extend to work for me?i did, you can see it. but you didnt liked it.how did i felt? have you even tried thinking? be. sensitive.
