.Thursday, August 26, 2010 ' 1:32 AM Y
Don't wake me up, unless its in reality ♥
To a certain point of time
people exposes their ugliness
that they have been trying to hide for long
especially when to the point where
certain circumstances have forced it out of them
well, i've seen much, but i think this is the worse.
The worse kind of feeling when the truth is already out
and you can't say it.
I really really, hate and dislike, to hurt someone.
i hate being a bitch.
i hate it when i have to think for you or give you false hope(which i dunno if i have).
because it ain't the right thing
and you'll just fall deeper, and get hurt even more in the end.
I could have end everything now.
but, what about your side.
it'll be horrible for you no?
I don't want to lose a friend like you.
but i guess, those acts of yours,
its not an act of a friend.
i realised it too late.
i don't deserve such treatments.
And. do you know?
you're selfish to an extent too.
you don't think of how i feel.
its not just on my side.
because you also think that its not normal now.
its not normal for me, i know it myself.
i feel horrible for all those lies.
you know what keeps me going?
to live in denial.
maybe i wasnt that girl you were looking for.
you just find some kind of thrill and essence from it.
you don't speak sincerely too.
you've said before "beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder"
so what makes it fair to describe me so perfectly?
i'm not.
i'm just contradicting myself.
because i would know that if i would tell anyone.
they would have been scolding me and force me to settle these things.
i should, shouldnt i?
i think blog just serves me a platform to complain.
if this gets out to him, god knows what he'll do.
maybe i'll just get this privated again.
-neh, if i posed as any kind of attraction to you, can't you just take me away-
